"To see Kyle go through this painful process makes me look outward at what our society was telling him." -Lynn Youngblom
by Lynn Youngblom
My husband, Dane, and I married 36 years ago. After seven years, we felt ready to start a family. We had three sons in 4½ years, then a daughter almost three years later.
As the kids grew to be young adults, Dane and I both wondered to ourselves if perhaps our second son, Kyle, might be gay. Neither of us spoke about it, both thinking we were alone in our thoughts. When we did eventually talk it over, we realized the fear was ours alone-Kyle had not told us he was gay; we did agree, however, to make every effort to let our kids know that the world was filled with many wonderfully different human beings and that our family was inclusive to all.
After high school, Kyle decided to move to Colorado. During a visit a couple of years later, Dane and I were getting ready to head back to Duluth, but Kyle started acting nervous, obviously distraught. He seemed as if he was stalling, like he didn't want us to leave.
Dane and I exchanged glances and were pretty sure he was about to tell us, finally, that he was gay. Our usual calm and cool son was struggling to get the words out, his voice shaking. As soon as he said it, we both grabbed him and told him we loved him. He seemed so relieved to finally tell us.
To see Kyle go through this painful process makes me look outward at what our society was telling him. I often think of other young people who go through the same agony that Kyle did, only to find they don't have the loving family support-the one thing they absolutely need the most.
Kyle now lives in California and the fact that our son is gay doesn't enter our minds. We talk weekly about school and work, how he and his partner are spending the weekend. They visit when they can and as his mother, it is wonderful to see their loving relationship. My hope is that eventually they will move back to Minnesota, and should they choose, that our state will be able to offer them the ability to celebrate their love through marriage.
This is something I wish for all four of our children-the ability to share in the wonder and magic of marriage, and it's why I'm voting No this November.
Lynn Youngblom is a lifelong Duluthian and volunteers with Duluth United for All Families.
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